Yuri
was standing satisfied before his invention. It was It. It was That.
It
was Everything. It was the Final Solution. It was the Missing Link,
the
solution of square upon a circle problem.
It
was the small gadget that will help his Party solve all of the
problems
of his country, and regain ascendence over West.
It
was a System Danger-o-Meter.
It
was a precise device telling how much a person or a thing is
dangerous
for the Party. And it did exactly that. And on 16 decimal places
it
did it.
"Speaking
about double precision", said Yuri, packing the gadget into
his
pocket, going out to do some testing. He is going to present this
before
Comittee and there must not be an error. Error in
something like
this
would be a mayor embarrassment.
"If
comrade Stalin had my Danger-o-Meter, he'd know who is truly dangerous for
the
Party and there would never be an error. The Party would have kept those
scientists
who were executed or sent to Siberia by mistake or by the
setup
of the enemy.", though Yuri. "Communism was thought to be a system
more
just that rotten, exploiting capitalism, and with this device it
would
work out."
"Hi,
Yuri!"
"Zdravstvuj!", Yuri replied.
"I
see you have a new gadget."
"Will
you help me test it?"
"It's
my job."
Yuri
and the strange person went forth from that place. They went into
city.
Then Yuri saw a picture of a person who was suspected to work for
the
mafia.
"It's
OK, you can use it."
Yuri
was embarrassed. The stranger knew exactly what Yuri was doing. It
must
have been the KGB then. But KGB knows Yuri is reliable and faithful
to
the causes of the Party, so there should be no problems.
He
pointed the device towards the picture. The gadget's diode glowed red
and
the display was showing 7.6 -- a little surprizing
for Yuri, since
he
expected the mafia guy to be more dangerous for the Party.
Yuri
pointed the Danger-o-Meter to an accidental passenger, and it
showed
4.6 ... So, it should be configured more precise. Anyway, the
person
just passing could have been a foreign spy of little importance.
The
Danger-o-Meter could not err. Or could it? Maybe there was a defect
in
silicon? Or flaw like Pentium divide bug?
He
looked feeling helplessly for a moment at the stranger. He seemed
friendly.
"That's what testing is for, isn't it, Yuri?" Yuri noded. "But
this
is not the problem now. The problem is the gadget is working correctly,
to
the last decimal place. Your neural-path-meters are working
correctly."
Yuri
went on.
The
stranger dissapeared.
He
pointed the device at the worker. He seemed like a good Party
material.
"8.6" -- surprizing.
"It
is not surprizing. The mafia guy will stay quiet, while
this worker
will
see a movie from black market in seven years that will make him
dream
of liberties. He will doubt in Party leadership, and start to
desire
what you call rotten democracy."
"Are
you a spy?", Yuri yelled, but there was no one behind him.
"I
must be hearing things from sleeplessness", he thought.
He
went further. The ray of Danger-o-Meter passed across the face of a
child.
It beeped. "10.2". The child went forth unsuspecting.
"This
child could be very beneficial for the Party, but he'll never
join.
He's too much reluctant to authority. He'll learn about the West,
and
start to want it."
Yuri
turned around, but there was no one again.
"You
can report him as dangerous, and receive precious points before
leadership.
They could approve your program. Background checks will
render
him as dangerous indeed even by standard procedures."
Yuri
was reluctant. The child was just 12. It was not something he had
in
mind. If it was the mafia guy with this level of danger, he wouldn't
hesitate.
The
Danger-o-Meter blinked again. "10.3". "The school teacher. A young
woman
with ideals that will make them dream of something that will not
be
achievable under Party as it is. This would require either change of
the
system, or - worse - change of certain leaders."
Blinked
again.
Pigeon.
"Pigeons
can be trained to carry messages, Yuri. They can serve enemy
propaganda."
Yuri
stood helpless again. He doubted. The device, himself, and worse
...
Party.
He
pointed the device against himself. "12.0". Maximum. It beeped and
blinked
like crazy.
"Is
there a problem, comrade?", asked a rather conservative policeman.
"No,
everything is right."
"But
why is it beeping?"
"No,
it's harasho."
"What
does it say? A Danger-o-Meter? This is dangerous. I'd better call
my
commanding officer."
* * *
Yuri
was before a party commission. He was sweating. He had a good
reason
for it.
"We
don't understand the math behind this gadget, neither would we care
if
it would work, but it's obviously faulty. It beeps at everything.
Whoever
even points this this 'Danger-o-Meter' even at his own reflection
in
the mirror, it displays "12.0", which is accidentally also the
maximum.",
the agent said ridiculing, then he added, "Are we all
dangerous
to the Party, comrade Yuri?"
Yuri
stood there looking at the floor.
"Wait
a minute!", the agent said. He pointed the Danger-o-Meter against
himself,
then against his colleagues ... "2.6", he said. "2.9" ...
"1.8"
...
Sashenka, you are the most reliable of us three, ha,
ha, ha. Indeed
you
most reliabley destroy vodka so nobody gets hurt by
it, don't you!"
Sashenka
was amuzed.
Then
the three agents looked at each other. They noded.
They pointed the
device
to the mirror. "12.0" ... They sat.
* * *
Yuri
was feeling safe again. No one will ever build a Danger-o-Meter
according
to his sketches.
He
went his most usual paths. Nothing was suspicious. Then, at an
instant,
he pointed the device against the crowd. The numbers ran up and
down.
He waited until the numbers reached maximum on a fellow, then
checked
with another copy of the device.
He
was now sure it was _the_ most dangerous person in the crowd for the
Party.
He started approaching.
"Excuse
me, what is the time?" -- he asked.
The
most dangerous man in the street turned around and smiled.
"We've
been expecting you for months."
* * *
In
the streets of London, Yuri was finally feeling free to take a deep
breath.
He knew what he had to do. He took the Danger-o-Meter and placed
it
at the rail. Both copies.
He
watched them smashing to pieces beyond recognition.
Then
he asked himself again -- is it the Danger-o-Meter's reflection that
was
the greatest danger for the system, or a simple, plain mirror?